First of all, food+work was great. Well, food is always great.

When I wrote the first draft, I wasn’t exactly sure how to write the McCain part, so I started it first, since I figured it would the most difficult part to write. And, as the way I always am, I got carried away. Swept away by my own emotions, my personal dislike for McCain made me try to reason without reasons. The latter “reason” being evidences and again, evidences. I tried to unravel the unknown (which is quite funny because I’m writing about “the unknown”)—what contributed to the dearth of McCain dreams, but just like any theory without the evidences, it was more like trying to grab air—fruitless. Now, after all that effort, it is time to test me, as a writer, whether I can let things go. Also, personal bias can be ruin the credibility of an essay since there is not enough evidence but bias.

I literally wrote the draft section by section, like answering a question. In terms of trasition, it needs a lot of stitching. A leading sentence in each paragraph which summarizes or introduces the preceeding thoughts/arguments would add more clarity. I’m also thinking of adding an abstract or some foreword just so the audience get a sense of what I’m about to discuss and how I’m going to do it.

The thesis is perhaps the first thing which need to be settled; somehow, I find it not taking a definitive shape before I write out the argument. Maybe I need to do more drafting.  A new outline. would be helpful.  The parts on folklore (I restrained myself on this because I was afraid I’d get carried away, but I do need to expand this) and content analysis need more introduction and explaining.

Now that I get the feedbacks from the workshop, I do see the importance of incorporating more evidences, the actual dreams, so that the audience gets a sense of what the dreams are like. The effect of paraphrasing a dream and actually citing a dream is quite different in terms of mood and “volumn” (I’m not sure what’s the word for this. by “volumn,” I mean the actual dreams can make the essay fuller like a fully blown balloon whereas paraphrasing is more like a half-aired one). I will also need to analyze the dreams and connect the dreams with articles to support my claim.

In terms of writing, I need to stay focused. My writing tend to be  schezephrenic. Just a note to myself: if I can’t make sense of what I’m writing, chances are, others won’t either. I hope this note will help.

Revising=Revisiting. Now that I take a look at my first draft, I notice a lot of things which I didn’t (when I was writing, I just thought everything was great). A fresh mind always offer a new perspective. Having this said, I plan to give myself a deadline for the second and third draft so that when I revisit my essay, I will be able to take a look at them more critically. A second reason is to use that to fight against procrastination.

A strawberry cake for the reward.

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